It is actually quite relieving to hear that your debt burden is so low (as compared to what it *could* have been, given the tuition at ‘Mac’). I can imagine how your debt seems huge from your perspective, but from where I am standing, it seems quite acceptable. I read your comment, and I am glad to see that you also find value in the ‘intangibles’ of your college experience. I learned FAR more in college than calculus,physics, and German.

I still must disagree with your conclusion that college was a poor choice, financially. If your debt is less than 25k, you will likely make up for that in just a few years, based on your increased earning potential. I imagine that you would be earning significantly less if you were relying solely on your high school diploma. In fact, I often lament that I did not spend MORE when I was an undergrad. My family was largely ignorant of how college finances worked. As a result, we approached the tuition problem with the notion that we would have to pay in full, in advance. I have many friends who went to better (and more expensive) schools, but who wound up with nearly the same debt load as I had. Or maybe the grass is just greener over there?

I suspect that you will look back at this time, say 5 or 10 years from now, and you will hardly remember the stress and worry. By then, your finances will have settled down, and I suspect you will find yourself in a happy place. Best wishes.

I, too, have a partner making significantly more than me, and he tends to take care of the “fun stuff”. I can’t tell you how immensely guilty that makes me feel, though. There have been days where he had to give me money so I could go out to lunch with my co-workers because he knew bonding with them was important to my career development. It kills me sometimes that I can be so financially desperate despite all my planning and hard work…and then I remember there are people who have it way worse than me.

While not my vocation, as a father of two bright young girls, and as a college graduate, I automatically assume that my girls will go to college as well. At least, I *used* to assume this. In light of stories such as yours, I have begun to wonder.

You did not note your actual debt, so for arguments sake, I looked up Macalester’s tuition and fees for 2012-2013. The total is $53,419.00, assuming you live and eat on campus. Lets assume that the average during your tenure was 50k, and that you had 50% assistance. So, you would be looking at 100k in college loan debt.

In contrast, UMass Dartmouth would cost about 23k per year. Making the same assumptions, had you gone to a state school, you would still be carrying about 50k in college loan debt.

If I extrapolate my own college loan payments, a 50k loan would result in about a $600/month payment, and a 100k loan would result in about a $1200/month payment.

Lord knows how expensive tuition might be when my girls are grown, but given these numbers and the current economy, I wonder: does it make economic sense to go to college at all? Assuming that you had 100k in debt, the question is: does your degree afford you job opportunities that pay at least $14,400.00 more in yearly salary ($1200/month times 12 months)? It seems likely that they would. And had you attended a less expensive school, would your 4 year degree allow you an income that was about $7200 more in annual salary as opposed to a high school graduate who had 4 years of work experience, but no degree? Again, this seems likely.

So, while the specter of 100k in debt, or $1200/month payments, seems daunting, the decision to go to college seems well justified when you compare the expected salary of a high school graduate when compared to a college graduate. In fact, according to http://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=77, in 2010, a female with a college degree earned $15,000 more annually than her counterpart who had only a high school diploma.

So, rather than consider the $1200/month payment, consider the $3,300/month paycheck vs the $2,100/month paycheck (gross pay). This turns out to be a wash BEFORE taxes, so it looks as if the college loans were a bad idea.

However, if we assume the less expensive school, the picture gets better, assuming that your salary is not impacted significantly by your choice of school.

And all of this considers only the financial picture. What about the OTHER benefits of having attended college? The experience alone might be worth the impact of the debt.

I guess at this particular point in time, when jobs are scarce, graduating with debt would be scary, but looking for work with only a high school diploma might be equally scary.

I wonder if the issue isn’t merely one of perception? When I graduated college, I had spent a grand total of about $40,000 to pay for college. My yearly salary as a new college graduate was about 20k. You indicate that your salary is between 35k and 45k. Had you gone to an in-state school (I assumed UMass), your numbers would look more like mine had looked. Further, at the time, many of my peers were going to much more expensive schools. I don’t know their financials, but at the time, they were paying about double my tuition.

So, when I look at the numbers in a relative way, it seems that not much has changed with regard to college tuition levels, salary levels, and debt. The downturn in the economy is a factor. Health care is an issue, but it is universal, not just associated with new graduates. These things aside, your situation seems not unlike mine and many of my peers, back when we first graduated. While we all felt stressed at the time, things worked out in the end. Hopefully they will for you as well.

To GrnMachine
and others wondering:

Please rest assured that –
beyond filing the police report – I have taken advantage of every other
possible means of protecting myself.

To our mysterious Guest:

After so much of my own deliberation,
I fully understand why you might disagree with – and even seem to be
vicariously disappointed or angered by – my decision about the loan. That being
said, I do think that the direction and venom of your response is unwarranted –
particularly since it incorrectly assumes several things that weren’t even mentioned
in my original post (which, for brevity and clarity and privacy’s sake, I won’t go into here).

In the end, though, there
are many, many reasons why it took me many months and many consultations to come
to the decision that I did.

I don’t pretend to think
that the decision I made was the only option, that I’m a better person for
having made it, or even that I feel entirely good about having made it. I do,
however, think that – given the many lives and many circumstances involved – I
made the best decision I could without causing further injury to either myself
or others.

I am not asking for
anything here.

Rather, I was asked to be
here.

To tell my story, in all
its complications.

I am telling it as truly
as I can.
…Actually, I suppose the only thing I ask is that you listen.
The loan situation is just a part – and by no means the significant part – of my story.

Good luck, and thanks for writing this so people begin to realize how messed up the educational financing situation is.