Published June 8, 2010

The Boston Globe has redesigned its print edition to better accommodate its three remaining readers, The Onion reports. (Some language may not be work-safe.)

Michael Fisher, of Boston, Camille Kresge, of Quincy, and Buddy, a homeless man who sleeps near the Boston Public Library, will be able to read articles about the five or six topics that interest them, complete with personalized reminders of doctor’s appointments and a review of the movie that’s next up in Fisher’s Netflix queue.

Globe Managing Editor Tom McNally “heralded” the new focus and said the paper is working to increase circulation.

Elsewhere, the Chicago Tribune has switched to an All Beyoncé Photos & Coupons format. The Washington Post recently began printing its daily edition on hot pancakes and delivering them to its 35 subscribers with sides of bacon.