Press Release Of The Day: Even Lenny Can’t Save Him

Published January 27, 2011

In the midst of last night’s snowstorm, state troopers arrested Tyler Bryan, a 25-year-old cab driver from East Somerville, on charges of drunken driving.

Police said they responded to a report of a car struck at 5:20 a.m. on Soldiers Field Road, near Leo Birmingham Parkway. They arrived to find a taxicab stuck in a snow bank, engine running, with Bryan looking very drunk. A trooper could smell alcohol.

Bryan was belligerent, police said, and insisted that comedians and Bay State natives Lenny Clarke and Denis Leary would come to his aide.

Now, drunken driving is not funny. (A drunk driver once sideswiped me and totalled my car. Drunken driving killed a high-school classmate.) But the details from the state police press release… well, you can’t make this stuff up.

Once inside the State Police cruiser BRYAN began to curse and make belligerent and nonsensical statements. He swore at the trooper, and said, initially, that he had been walking, not driving, and then claimed falsely that he had been in the passenger seat of the cab, not the driver’s seat.

BRYAN cursed during the entire ride to the Brighton State Police Barracks, and once inside became more belligerent. Told again that he was under arrest, he said he was not and was going home. He then said several times that he had been driving a snowmobile or that he had crashed into a snowmobile.

BRYAN refused to cooperate with the booking process. He insisted that he was not under arrest, and then said repeatedly that Lenny Clark [sic] and Denis Leary were going to get him out of trouble and take care of him. BRYAN also slurred the word “LLLLEEEEENNNNNYYYYY” – taking about 15 seconds to drag the name out each time — over and over.

Troopers had to hold BRYAN up at points during the booking process, as he insisted, all the while, that he was not under arrest. At one point, BRYAN put his fingers in his ears and stated, in a sing-song voice, that he could not hear the trooper who was booking him.

Bryan was also charged with refusing to identify himself to authorities. He is scheduled to be arraigned today in Brighton.